Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
