Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize