It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize