I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
