Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
