White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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