I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
