This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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