you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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