I think my vagina is haunted
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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