no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
