why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
