I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize