I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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