i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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