Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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