Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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