i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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