they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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