my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
