12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
