omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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