Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
