it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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