There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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