The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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