It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
