thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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