how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
