Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
