So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
