Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
