so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
