I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
