I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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