Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
