I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
smell my finger.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
