Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
