oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i think my mom watched the whole time
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
FUCK WHALES
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
