she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
