Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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