YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
