oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
