i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
