Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
