I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
