He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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