Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
