This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize