I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
