I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Im part way to drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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