ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
