people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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