"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
