4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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