Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
